Way Back When-sday

I am getting old...my back is aching, I have two sore knees and my left foot hurts.  The chiropractor says it is a subluxation in my neck.  Ha!  I knew suluxation wouldn't be a word!  Isn't that a word they always use?  He fixed me yesterday afternoon, but today I am hurting again.  We will see what he says tomorrow. I am thinking I have done too much water walking after being off for three weeks. The hot tub sure comes in handy
 For a long time I have wanted to write the Memoir of my life. In order to write one, you must have some life experiences to write about.  I think I am in that category now.   To write it on my blog, I will have to leave some personal information out so I will fill in the blanks later.  What a good day to start it; on "Way Back When-sday."

My mother  in my grandparent's living room

                     My Life As I Remember It

I was born July_________at___________Hospital in_____________.  My mother was_________________and my dad was______________.  I was the first of their six children and my mom and dad were young; 19 and 21.  We lived with my grandparents until I was one.  They converted their 3 bedroom-one-bath, upstairs to a little apartment for my parents.  My dad had been in World War II and after spending some time in France recovering from the gunshot wound across his back, he came home.  
My dad was fair, freckled and had red hair.  My mom was darker, with brown eyes and dark brown hair.  She was beautiful! I am the only one of six children who looked more like my dad.
We moved into a brand new bungalow in____________. and my first memory is when my brother__________was born.  I was two and I remember standing on the grass outside the hospital waving to my mom who was waving to me from her hospital window.  Back then, women stayed in the hospital for ten days!
There were five of us born in that house until we finally moved to______________in____________.
Back in those days, my mother didn't have a car and I remember her pulling me and my brother in a wagon to an area of stores where she would shop.  Sometimes my dad would get a ride to work and my mother would have the car for the day.  
My dad worked at Ford Motor Company and worked his way up to supervisor.  He worked long hours and traveled to Grand Rapids for work sometimes. Two of my favorite memories are of being in Grand Rapids.  

                     End of Part One


  

Thanksgiving Is Over.......

and now on to Christmas.  We had a great Thanksgiving with lots of fun and games, talking and laughing.  Yesterday afternoon after everyone was gone; it was quiet as a church mouse here in the house.  Not a sound but me and Donaldo breathing as we sat in our chairs. 
We both went to bed early but woke up at 4:30 a.m. and have been up ever since. We don't know what's with that, but we are still awake.   We went swimming at 6:30 a.m. and were home by 8:00 a.m.  I went shopping at Target'-haven't been there in awhile.  My credit card shows it!  I got Donaldo a new red coffee maker to go with his red pans and coffee grinder.  Shhh.......
I picked out a few things for the new Michigan girls too.  Then I made a stop at Michaels-I can never go there enough!  
Now all is quiet; it is BSF night and this is the night I usually eat some really good, bad food.....bad for me that is.  
I did some Cyber shopping too...that is not always as easy as it seems; especially when you forget your passwords.  Today there was a lot of free shipping. Yes, I guess I am part of Cyber Monday even though I don't participate in Black Friday.  
I will be working on my "homemade" Christmas tonight as I watch DWTS.  Tonight is the finale, but I am behind a week. 
I even got my Christmas cards ordered with a FAMILY PICTURE!!!!!
Now, that is progress!  

The Museum Trip

I have a guest writer today who took a lot of time to write this blog.

Yo dudes! Cavan here. Yesterday Ryan, Papa and me went to the Henry Ford museum. Outside we saw giant posters of some new IMAX movies. When we got inside, an employee asked if we wanted to see the current movie about to play called the Rocky Mountain Express. He took us straight to the front of the ticket line and got us tickets immediately. Then we went up the elevator, the quick way we had never gone. He got us to the forty-five minute movie just as it was starting.

Afterwards, we went to the LEGO Architecture display and looked at all the giant models of the coolest buildings in the world. The model of the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa, was seventeen feet tall, made out of about 450,000 bricks. We went to the free build section and built a cool black pyramid. Dad is watching me type right now. After the LEGO display, we went to the cafe and got some muffins and pop. Papa got some coffee and shared his banana muffin with me. Ryan got Mountain Dew, and I got Orange Crush. We went to see the "Holiday Trains" display and watched all the little electric trains decorated for Christmas  (imagine Brady's reaction if he sees that ). They had micro cameras on the trains so we could look at a flatscreen TV and see a first person view, like we were sitting on top of the trains. Dad is no longer watching me type. Ryan replaced him and seems interested right now. Next to the train section they had two other LEGO displays set up. There was a city ( very realistic ) with an airport, a ToysRus factory, the Fisher theatre, some houses, the Union Railroad Depot, and a farm. There was also a multi-colored castle with a  electric train that you could actually control.

Next, we went to the race car section and looked at all the old race cars. There was also even one of the only six Bugatti Royales in the world there. We saw a short movie that was about twenty minutes long called Driving America where they talk about cars and the modernity of cars.

The museum was about to close, so we left. We had a great day, and Ryan too seems to have lost interest in my blog.

Thank you so much Cavan for being today's guest blogger.  It has been a pleasure having you write today.  I love your blog!  Breakfast was more important to Ryan, but I am sure he will read the rest of it.  

Can You Teach An Old Dog Old Tricks?

Two years ago Kristen and I got new sewing machines.  They were Christmas presents.  We opened hers and read the directions and got it threaded and did some practice sewing and......that is it....until Kristen went to a women's retreat this fall and took a sewing class and made some beautiful bags.
Oh dear, Ryan and Cavan are looking over my shoulder proof-reading.  
Back to my story:  Kristen is here this weekend and we got my sewing machine out.  I found an easy doll dress pattern and got to sewing.  After a broken needle (you can't sew over the pins) and a re-threading (after threading it wrong) I got to finally sew the dress.  I am not happy with the way it turned out, but Riley is okay with it. Practice makes perfect do you think?
I haven't sewn in twenty years.  In days gone by, I sewed all the time.  I made clothes, little stuffed dolls, and men's ties.  I feel all thumbs now and my goal is to make doll clothes for the girls, and most of all, I would love to make a quilt.
Since Cavan is still looking at this while I write (Ryan lost interest), I will probably make some PJ's for Cavan :)  Cavan drew me and papa a very nice picture and made papa a leather belt at camp for his birthday. Oops, Ryan is back and so is Joy Boy.  JB wants pants for his Noni (his teddy bear). Does Ryan want PJ's? We will see (oops, no he doesn't think so).
So the sewing all boils down to "stick-to-it-ness." 
Can I persevere and get some of my sewing skills back?  

The Day After

Well, here we are and it's the day after Thanksgiving. Our tummies are full and we enjoyed a traditional feast.  We went to Kevin and Audrey's new house and the Chicago family (Ryan says "the Chicago family?")  I am thinking he wants to be called something else like the Baker family?  Ah yes, he is shaking his head in agreement.

Audrey had the table all set with her beautiful china and crystal and the meal was great.  I know you always feel that way when someone else cooks the meal, but this was really good.  

The kids played outside before and after dinner; it was 60 degrees yesterday and it was a beautiful day.  

Oldest grandson Ryan takes charge of little Joy Boy and I gave him some babysitting money for the whole weekend.  Then I enlisted Cavan to help out and paid him.  

We worked on taking family pictures and Audrey used the timer on her camera.  We also took individual family pictures.  We were outside and they are casual which I like.  The two youngest, Amelia Bedelia and Joy Boy, just couldn't be still. Maddie was being silly and Joy Boy also had some sticks that he kept sticking in front of his mom.  We did the best we could and after Audrey sends me the pictures, I will pick the best of the lot.  Kristen took one which I am putting on here-it is really good except.....I have MY EYES CLOSED.  ME!!  Yes, the one who wanted the pictures taken. 

After dessert and listening to the kids run around upstairs playing hide-and-go-seek and screaming when they were found, we left for home.  Joy Boy was enthralled by a plastic bow and arrow that ended up with one arrow broken and Amelia crying.  I think JB would like one for Christmas.  

Ryan is sitting next to me proof-reading and editing as I go along. Kristen and I went swimming this morning and hopefully burned off a few calories.  We are going to have a sewing lesson today because Kristen now knows how to use our new sewing machines.  She made me, Karen and Audrey beautiful bags for Christmas.  The Baker family will not be here for Christmas :(  We will be going there for New Years.  

There are so many things to be thankful for, but there are seven things I am really thankful for: Ryan, Cavan, Megan, Riley, Maddie, Amelia, and last but NOT least, Brady.  Somehow Ryan knew I was going to write that.

Way Back When-sday

                            

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays right after the Fourth of July.  There are so many memories from when I was a child and as I grew up, got married and had my own children.  The picture on the top is my mom and dad's first Thanksgiving after they got married.  They were living with my grandma and grandpa then. I have looked at this picture many times and never noticed my other grandfather sitting on the far left.  This is my mom's dad and we called him Pe'pe'.  His family originated from Quebec and settled in Massachusetts.  He was quite a character and died when I was about 15.  He smoked cigars and I can still remember the smell of them.  He had a bean-bag ashtray.  I know my mom didn't like it, but she let him do it anyway.  He loved to sing (at the top of his voice) and I am trying to remember the song he always sang.  I'll bet my dad remembers; he remembers things like that.
Unfortunately, the last Thanksgiving for my mom was just before she got sick and eventually died.  The picture has wonderful memories now-I used to have trouble looking at it.  About a week later she started to get short of breath and got sicker and sicker.  For some reason I took this picture of her with her Rosemary depression glass dishes that she gave to me.  
More memories tomorrow. 

Homemade Christmas

Every year, I start thinking about dragging my Christmas stuff all out and then.....putting it all away again.  This year I have decided to use minimal decorations and not drag anything out except the lights for the tree.  

I am cleverly using a few things from the dollar store and then making the rest.  I am making ornaments for the tree; just started making those paper chains we used to make as kids.  I am using up some of my scrapbook paper.  I am making cut-out ornaments with birds and flowers from scrapbook paper for the tree. Maybe I can get a few "grands" to help this weekend. Chicago is coming tomorrow and Livonia will be here and we will be going to Macomb on Thanksgiving; all seven together at one time...Can't wait. 

For the rest of the decorating,  I will cut some fresh greens and Holly and put them in some vases and add some pine cones and rose hips to add to the "Christmas flavor."  It is a fun easy thing for me to work on without getting out 10-12 boxes of stuff. Add a few candles and voila'!  I just can't face the boxes-no siree!  

I have been on Pinterest looking at homemade gifts.  Who got me interested in Pinterest anyway....Karen??? Kristen???? One can wile away a lot of time there.  But I love it.

Anyway I am accomplishing two tasks: using up scrapbook stuff and  decorating.  Oh, and satisfying my creative side which has come back after a long time away.  Now if someone could just buy all the presents...I will be all set. 

 

Back In The Saddle Again

My Bff and I used to play Roy Rogers and Dale Evans in an empty field by her house.  I don't remember the details but I think it is funny as I remember it. 
After almost 3 weeks away from swimming, I went with Donaldo this morning.  My poor fins were almost dried out.  I loved seeing everyone again and I love water exercise.  It is much better than the treadmill.
One woman mentioned how much she loved "Black Friday."  I detest Black Friday; I don't even like the name.  And it seems the stores are going to be ready before Friday.  I went to The Dollar Store yesterday and they are going to be OPEN on Thanksgiving.  It's a travesty I say!  There are all kinds of PRE-Thanksgiving sales.  My mailbox is FULL of catalogs every day.  There is:

*Lillian Vernon
*Vermont Country Store
*Lang calendars and note cards
*Personal Creations.com
*Hickory Farms
*BB and B (Bed Bath and Beyond)  Beyond what?
*Toys to Grow on
*American Girl-of course this is the one I NEED
*The Republic of Tea (I do order things from here)
*Penzey spices (also a "must need" for the chef)
*Fisher Price
*Bits and Pieces
*Gaither Collection
*LL Bean (also a must have)
*Lands End (ditto)
*Gardeners

I am sure there will be more. I do order a lot on line for Christmas but some of these I have never seen and some of course are not new to me.  So I leave Black Friday alone and settle myself down with a pumpkin steamer and order on-line from one of my many catalogs.

Sunday's Meditation

                        
From Sarah Young:

"When you are around other people, you tend to cater to their expectations-real or imagined. You feel enslaved to pleasing them, and your awareness of My Presence grows dim.  Your efforts to win their approval eventually exhausts you.  You offer these people dry crumbs rather than the living water of My Spirit flowing through you.  This is not My way for you!  Stay in touch with Me, even during your busiest moments.  Let My Spirit give you words of grace as you live in the Light of my Peace."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and you minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

This means so much to me because I learned that I tend to cater to the needs of so many others and I feel trapped and burned out. I always thought I needed the approval of others and finally all I had to offer them was burned out pieces of myself.  
I am learning that I don't need to do that anymore, but I need to focus on God and let His spirit flow through me and speak and act from Him.  Then I will be living in the light of His peace. 

A Warm Welcome

The hug from Kelly said it all; "I am so glad to see you!"  It was great to sit with Christian friends and discuss the book "The Case For Faith"  by Lee Strobel.  The chapter we were discussing was on Evolution and we had a great discussion on that subject.  How precious it was to sit with Christians again and discuss, pray and fellowship.  Honey, Kelly's husband did a great job in leading and I sat back mostly and just tuned in.  Then, prayer time came and we were discussing the problems of others and praying for them.  And then Kel and Honey both thanked God that Donaldo and I were back with them and asked God to continue to heal me.  That meant so much to me. Sometimes there is a stigma with depression or maybe it is imagined because there is no outward injury that others can see.  But the heart is broken (as I drew in my journal many times.)  It was nice afterwards to gather around their kitchen island and snack and talk.  The chef had made some gluten-free brownies (a Hodgkin Mills product) and honestly they were as good as regular brownies.  I am looking forward to getting to know everyone better and I thank Kelly and Honey for their warm welcome and prayers.

Today I must dust; I must and not fuss
And clean up as I go, I must, I must (says Dr. Seuss)


The Lord is my shepherd
There is nothing I lack
He fills me and leads me
to pastures of green.
He feeds me,
keeps me,
and protects me....
I am thankful
and listen;
He is the good shepherd.

Graduation Day

In some ways it has been a long three weeks, but I stuck to it and here I am today; my last day.  I will miss some of the structure and the classes, but I have learned a lot and I do feel better.  The coping techniques is what I will remember the most. That, and the deep breathing that slows everything down-even your racing thoughts which everyone with depression struggles with. 
The chef is making me a "graduation day" breakfast of eggs and sausage and tonight I.AM.GOING.TO.SMALL.GROUP!  
I bought myself a bracelet with Psalm 16:11 written on it: "You will fill me with joy in your presence." There are three little charms that say "faith, love, and hope." It did not matter if I felt the Lord with me, He was there all the way.  

"When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you."
Proverbs 2:10-11

Friends

A person who depressed narrows their world down so much that they are only in contact with a few people.  I have Donaldo for sure and my two daughters. They have been the only ones I have been able to talk to about this.  They are all my Bff's.  
A friend understands you and encourages you even when you are down.  And these kind women are always there for me and I thank them with all my heart. Donaldo has been the strong one for me and I can never begin to thank him enough.  But he would love me to make dinner one night :)  He just ordered some new Penzey spices :)
There are two friends that I need to reconnect with and talk to more and spend some time with.  That would be Kelly and Carol. Kelly, tea sounds great. Let's do it soon. Carol, the Bible Study sounds like a great idea. Thank you both for your prayers.  
There are so many other people that I would like to get to know better...and that is part of the plan.  I have to be a "joiner" not a recluse. 
Then I need to spend time with our friends that we went to Scotland with...they are like comfortable clothes (jammy bottoms and and t-shirt).  We have so much fun together and laugh a lot. That sounds so nice-to laugh again.  
Thank you Carol and Kelly for your comments and encouragement and especially the one about the woman who said "we should use everything we go through for God's glory, the good and the bad.  Don't waste your suffering."  Wow.  I would like to be done wasting my time! I have known all the time that God has a plan and perhaps I could help other women in this same situation.  My mind and body and soul belong to the Lord regardless of how I feel. Thank you for your prayers for strength today; that is all I need....one day at a time.

The People That You Meet

The people that come to Day Treatment are hurting so much.  At first it overwhelmed me and I thought "who am I to be so depressed?"  But I identified with many of their thoughts and feelings.  We are together all day for different classes and then there is an hour-and-a-half of "group therapy."  This is where we vent and share and others help us with their insight.  It is amazing that others have sympathy for others and not for themselves.  Somehow we all feel undeserving of having compassion for ourselves.  
The new lady on Monday was in a plane crash with her husband who was the pilot of their small plane.  He broke some bones and she is paralyzed from the waist down and in a wheelchair.  She got depressed a few months later.  There is a fire fighter who was injured on the job; had surgery and is in a lot of pain and can't work.  His wife left him.  There is my friend who has been there longer than I have and she is Bipolar and has been in and out of the hospital for years.  She is a victim of parental incest.  There are divorces where the husband is controlling and there is a young gal with an eating disorder that thinks she looks awful, and she looks great.  And there is the man that got discharged yesterday who's wife died last year and he is lost and the house and finances are a mess and he doesn't know where to start.  So much hurt, so many stories.  My bipolar friend is an artist and we have prayed together.  I have the Lord in my life and I can't imagine going through this depression without Him.  
Yesterday we had Music Therapy and we all got to play instruments; chimes, drums, something that sounds like an ocean and it was very relaxing to play these instruments all together. Part of therapy is working on self-esteem which is a big part of depression.  Today is another day and I look forward to learning more. This is my life for the next week and after that I have to structure my life with more things to do for me outside of my house.  Any ideas?

Blue Skies

"May the Lord make His face shine on you and give you peace."   I am now starting my 3rd week at Outpatient Rehab at St. Joes in Ann Arbor.  The end of last week and this weekend was kind of rough.  I was supposed to be discharged yesterday, but the doctor wanted me to stay until the end of the week, so we can work on my medication and tweak it.  I love the classes they have and the deep breathing ones are my favorite.  My goal is to be better for the holidays so I can enjoy them.  I am learning how to deal with stress, anxiety and depression as well as seeing my doctor every day.  It is a full day and very intense so I am tired when I get home at 3:30.  It has been a dark hole that I have been climbing out of, and sometimes the Lord seems far away.  But I am still in His word and praying and.......journaling.  I think that is a good sign don't you?  My hope is to be able to go to small group on Friday and church on Sunday.  Please pray that the doctor has found the right combinations of medication.