What a struggle this summer has been with depression. One doesn't like to write about it; it isn't a very uplifting blog. I never have understood depression feels, but now I do and it isn't fun. I struggle against it, I do everything to prevent it, but I can't seem to shake it. Is it a matter of faith? To some degree yes, but I now believe God has me on this path for some reason only He knows. It has isolated me more than I like to be isolated, It has made me lose sleep and sleep too much. It has made me cry buckets of salty tears. I thank God for a patient husband and a wonderful Christian counselor.
We have tried quite a few medications and as soon as the serotonin drugs get to therapeutic levels they bring back the pain in my belly. Did you know most serotonin is made in the intestines? It is an interesting fact I learned along this path of pain. Depression makes you feel like your heart is going to burst. It is actually painful and in my worst moments, I despair of it, yet in my better moments God speaks to me through it.
It is hard to be creative and blog or do scrapbooking or anything else that I love to do. Thank goodness for reading.
And speaking of reading, I'll end on a high note. Thanks to Karen who discovered a wonderful series of Christian books by Jill Eileen Smith on the wives of David. There are three-Michal, Abigail and Bathsheba. They are wonderfully written and bring you right back into I and II Samuel. She started a new series also-Wives of the Patriarchs. I highly recommend them!
2 comments:
I thank you for your candor about this difficult subject. Praying for God's peace as you continue to persevere during this particularly painful time. Hebrews 10:23 Love, Kelly
May the Lord be your Comfort in the down times, your Light in the dark times and your source of strength in all times! He works best when we are weak! A wonderful friend and pastor once said to me, "Don't let the devil steal your joy!" Glad you are sharing - as troubles shared weigh only half as much!
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